Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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