READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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