mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
tell me about the eggs
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