i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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