Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
