know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
