Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
