that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
