oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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