Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
