Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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