When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
