Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
