my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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