I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
how drunk are you?
Several
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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