Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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