operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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