Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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