Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
