I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I will be naked everywhere
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
