I cockslap morals
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
