I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
