Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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