I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
