HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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