Sponge bath it is.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
