So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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