when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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