I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
