she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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