i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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