Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
