it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
