i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
