The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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