How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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