STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
PANTIES FOUND
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
