is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
