apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
