I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize