would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
