Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
