So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
