I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
