it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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