my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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