last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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