have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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