im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize