i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
