I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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