She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
