I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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