Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
