i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
