i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
