is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
