My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize