If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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